My Wife Left Me
Since I read your books, I have been trying to thank God that my wife left me, but I can’t do it. Every time I think about her, I can do nothing but cry. I’m getting less and less able to do my work, and I don’t even care. I seldom eat a full meal, and I’m never hungry. How can I be thankful that I feel so terrible? I’m not able to help anyone else, and I would like to use my life for something worthwhile.
When my wife first left me, friends told me I would get over it with time. But time is making me worse. I love my wife, and the longer she is gone, the more I miss her. Shouldn’t people who love someone be sad when they leave? There are many times that I do wrong, but I don’t feel wrong about missing my wife. Do you think I am wrong? You help many people – can you help me?
Yes, you are wrong my friend. You are permitting Satan to destroy you. You believe your sorrow is “right,” so you carefully hold on to it. When you realize that it is wrong, you will let go of it and God will give you a new life.
It is wrong to doubt God regardless of the circumstances. It may be natural not to want pain of any kind, just as it is natural not to want separation from someone we love. But even Jesus ” learned obedience by the things which he suffered” (Heb. 5:8). If you want your situation to be used by God to bless you and others, begin to thank Him that your wife is gone. At first it may seem impossible, but do your best and God will honor that. He only requires you to do what you are able to do.
It isn’t your wife’s departure that is killing you, it is your own reaction to it. God permits you to react however you choose, but He will give you peace if you will thank Him that everything is exactly as it is and trust Him to work good out of it exactly as He promised. What good? Bring your wife back? Only He knows the good that needs to be done, and this must be left to Him.
I will be in prayer with you that the Holy Spirit will help you to believe that God is with you and has a perfect plan for you and your wife.
When I received your letter, my reaction was “you’r nuts!” I kept on feeling sorry for myself. But your prayer must have gotten through! I went back and read Power in Praise again and decided to give praise a good try. At first I felt like a real hypocrite, but once I got started, I knew I had to either make it that time or I would never try it again. I kept saying “Thank you, God.” After a while, I could tell that I was feeling a little bit better. When I was convinced that I was a little better, I got excited. God was actually doing something for me.
You were right. My self-pity gradually left! I saw that I needed God much more than I needed my wife. I still love her and want her, but I’m learning what it means to need God too. He has a plan for my life, so I am going to enjoy finding out what it is. Several times lately, I’ve seen an opportunity to do something for someone else, and I actually enjoyed doing it. When I was crying like a baby, I thought only of myself. It is like I was in a fog and am now starting to see the sunshine. Please keep praying for me. God must have more things He wants to do in me.
It will take a lifetime for God to complete His plan for our lives. When that plan is completed, we are then ready for heaven. In heaven we will be relieved of all our problems, but here on earth we need to experience whatever suffering will fit us for the eternal plan He has for us. You are being prepared to serve Him in your own special way for all eternity. God could have started your eternity in heaven with the angels, but you were to come here first and learn what-ever you needed to know. If you choose to grumble and fight against His will for you, you will be like the man who beats his head against a stone wall. That really isn’t the purpose for a wall. Doubting God isn’t the purpose for life either!
THIS BLOGGER HAS WORKED WITH PRAISE
One night about 8: ish in the pm, when I lived alone, near Mt Herman, in California, I all of a sudden had a screaming horrible pain in my mouth that would not stop. Even though it seemed impossible because of the howling pain I was barely able to call a friend to come over and help me. While I was screaming with pain that came in waves and would never stop, my friend called every where and there was no help to be found because of the late hour.
I prayed and prayed for help and relief because the pain was unbearable with no possible let up and suddenly a thought came into my mind and I could think of nothing else, except the pain, of course. I was remembering a story about some ladies who while in a concentration – camp, enduring horrible treatment and conditions during the war. One of the ladies had started a bible study group while in the concentration – camp and she became the facilitator of the group, she had been teaching the ladies in the group to “praise God in all things“. The ladies where insulted and complained that it was impossible to praise God for what they were going through. They said, “how is it humanly possible to thank God for what is happening to us with the lice, flea, rat, and mice infestation we have to endure, let alone the treatment and conditions we have to put up with here, it does’nt make since to thank God for all these terrible things. The ladies were told to have faith and believe in the word of God, because they were told that all through the scriptures it is stated to “Praise God in all things” . Even thorgh it seemed impossible to these women in that deplorable situation they still continued to practise the principal of : “Praising God in ALL things.
Later these ladies found that the only reason why the hostile guards left them alone was because they WERE infested with lice, flea, mice, and rats. So apparently, God was blessing them.
So with the horrendous waves of pain from my mouth, I started praying and thanking God for the pain I was experiencing. When I would say: “Thank you for the pain”, it did not make a lot of sense to me, so more or less I said something like: “Heavenly Father, thou has all knowledge and knows all things and is every where present in all conditions, and I currently am experiencing this pain and I know not why, but I know there is a purpose for everything under heaven and although I do not understand why, I thank you for this pain. In the name of Jesus Christ Amen. I kept praying and thanking God from 8:ish pm till 8:30 am the next day when my friend drove me to the dentist.
My friend was nice enough to up sit up with me all through that whole night of pain. MY friend said he could hardly believe what took place during that night of pain. My friend said to me later that there was a total transformation which went on during the hours that I was in pain. Where in the beginning, I was told that my face was almost distorted with pain and yet as the hours past by my face became so calm, serene and peaceful, that if they had not seen the transformation with their own eyes they would not have believed it to be possible.
And what I personally experienced at first when I started to pray and thank God, was it felt like such a stupid thing to be doing, but I was in so much pain I was willing to try anything, so I earnestly continued hour after hour through that night with my friend by my side. I would not have believed what happened if it hadn’t happened to me. In the beginning it was so hard but as the hours past one by one with the pain continuing, after many hours, ever so slowly the pain continued and as it did the pain ever so slowly became sweet so I could bear it, and by the time we got to the dentist office I was afraid to stop praying and thanking God. The pain had turned SWEET.
The dentist said he was surprised that I had made it through the night because he said that the infection had affected the whole branch of the nerves and until he was able to examine the x rays he could not be sure which tooth was the infected one, and that was why I could not tell him which one of the teeth hurt, because my whole mouth hurt.
I will probably remember that experience for the rest of my life, the night I prayed and thanked God for the pain and my reward was that through the night the pain turned sweet and easier to bear. Thank thee Heavenly Father for that lovely, but hard experience, in the Name of Jesus Christ Amen.